Took my 700D out for a test...


How to be alone

"If you are at first lonely, be patient..."

I was reading Katie's post about her experiences as an independent introvert who struggles between feeling content in her solitude and feeling lonely and it reminded me of my own. At 24 I have accepted my solitude. I am alone, a lot and I like working at my own pace. I like the quiet. I like being totally weird without anybody judging me. I like being a homebody. But after a while I'll slip into negative spaces. If I go too long without speaking to my friends I get lonely and my mind starts to turn against me. I have a few friends (online friends) but I still crave that group of weirdos who get me. Something that gets me through that time when I can't speak to anyone is watching this video. Andrea Dorfman nails down how amazing it can be to be alone. Her spoken word is just beautiful.

"Society is afraid of alone though, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements..."

Perfect. I'm sure there are some lonely hearts but to conflate all people who are alone with the lonely is wrong. Some people have lots of friends and still feel lonely while others are perfectly happy being alone. You can't judge from the outside. You just have to focus on how you feel. There's a scene in the 90s film Romy and Michele's High School Reunion where the title characters are talking about how they never felt like their lives were bad until they started to compare it to others interpretation of success and had to deal with outside judgement and that's how I feel. I might find myself feeling down or lonely 20% of the time but the 80% I'm cool with it. As long as there is more positive feelings towards my loner status that it's all good. Alone isn't inherently bad but loneliness is. I think loneliness breaks the heart and kills the soul. If you are feeling lonely then I hope you find people that you can trust soon, in the mean time there is always this video.



I didn't mean to go a week without posting. I said I was back and that I would be blogging 3 - 4 times a week but my mental health has taken a turn for the worse so this blog took a back seat. I've been feeling a little stressed out by the nature of blogging, the overwhelming increase of advice posts, the constant churning out of content and dedication needed to get ahead. I have come to the decision that I will be posting on here once a week on Fridays. I have one post coming for Friday about being alone. In the meantime you can check out my instagram if you want to keep up with my 365 challenge (the only online thing I have been able to keep up with right now). I hope you can bare with me while I try to find balance and peace.


Music Monday: Happy

Oh Marina, you've been writing songs from my soul since I discovered you about four years ago. The Family Jewels is a great album, it included songs like Obsession and Guilty which are my favourite songs. Electra Heart was even better and Happy from her latest album Froot just blew my mind. It's like we were on the same journey. My mental health had down for many years but when I first heard the song it was at the right time in my life. As you can tell with my Music Monday songs, I posted based on what song I relate to most emotionally that week. This is the kind of music I love listening to right before bed. I also recommend you listen to the live acoustic version because it's even better.

My favourite lyrics are the entire song but specifically these:
I found what I'd been looking for in myself. Found a life worth living for someone else.
Never thought that I could be, I could be... Happy, happy.
She figured out how to be happy inside, to be truly happy. Not the fake pretence of togetherness. You get so used to being inside that frame of mind, of being unhappy that happiness seems so far away. You just gotta open yourself up to really being present in life, finding people who you can confide in and believing in something more, something bigger than yourself, maybe God, maybe fate, maybe spirituality in general and that's the path to happiness? Maybe. I dunno. Is anyone else a Marina fan? If so tell me your favourite song.


I'm back!

Yes, hello it's Shari-Ann and I'm going to start blogging again. I took like a month off and decided that I wanted to. While I was gone I invested in my blog, I bought a domain. My blog is now www.insidesai.co.uk, I got a new layout from SkyandStars. My old schedule was Monday: Music Monday where I post a song I've been loving that week or in general. Wednesday: a photography or artistic post. Friday was a personal or general post that isn't creative and Sunday was the day to post a compilation of my 365 challenge (which I'm not 4 weeks behind) and I will try to get back into that routine.

Also I bought a DSLR! Looking forward to my image quality improving! I'm glad to be back. I always wanted this blog to be a visual diary but I also have other interests like film, music, feminism to name a few. Blogging can be both freeing and constricting but I'm happy to be back.

P.S. I made a facebook fan page so if you like my content, take a look and give it a like.
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