Thoughts on 2014

(my favourite shots of myself)

It's been a topsy turvy year on insidesai but I definitely learned a lot. Some months I would only update the blog a few times while other months I posted more frequently. It affected my numbers but it's ok, I'm still new at this, got kinks to iron out but I'll get there. I relied on motivation to dictate my blogging routine and that resulted in my inconsistent posting. I have felt the pressure and I would compare my blog to more successful blogs and I was spreading myself too thin wanting to blog all the time but still having to hold down a full time job. In 2015 I want to become consistent in terms of how much I post but also post quality. I want to push myself creatively in terms of photography and art collage. I want to allow myself the space to travel down my personal blog journey completely.

Personally I have grown a lot in 2014. I finally got the help I needed to work through personal issues and hopefully I can move into the present in 2015. I want to grow and stop letting fear hold me back. I am proud of myself that I have blogged for a year. My second attempt at blogging and I'm still here, still enthusiastic about blogging. I am hoping to become a better blogger in 2015, a happier person and someone who is comfortable in their skin.

Blogging Goals for 2015

1. Be consistent with posting.
I am going to try to post 3 times a week in 2015. The key is preplanning, bulk photographing and scheduling. Using the schedule option on blogger and buffer for twitter updates to make sure my blog is active. I have to really plan my off days, push myself through lazy and unmotivated days to make sure I have good content. I want this blog to succeed.

2. Improve my photography exponentially.
I experimented with different mediums in 2014, film, instant film and digital and I got some good shots and learned from the not so good ones. In 2015 I want to to grips with lighting, focus and composition. I'd love to take portraits of other people. I would also love to purchase a DSLR but I don't want to get my hopes up because I have monthly bills and I want to save to potentially do an art course in 2016 so an expensive (but worthwhile) camera is on the back burner right now. I'm going to a night class on black and white film photography so hopefully that helps a lot with my technique. Maybe I'll be able to capture that beautiful multiple exposure look in camera next year.

3. Use social media better.
I primarily use twitter, instagram and tumblr  as my social media and I found it hard to juggle them all this year. Twitter is more for promotion for blog posts, random thoughts and to connect with other bloggers and potentially brands. Instagram is like a more social flickr. A place to share pictures and another way to promote the blog. Tumblr was a personal place to express thoughts and feelings. Honestly I've been using tumblr less and less over the past few months but it's the main source of inspiration, news and staying in touch with my online friends.

Again I want to thank anyone who's followed me this year, those who took the time to comment and all the bloggers who have posted informative advice posts that have opened my eyes to the potential of professional blogging. I hope everyone has a great New Year!


Collage - December Edition

I'm experiments with styles. Trying to get out of the grunge frame of mind... I'll never fully leave. I don't want to. I don't have to.


Merry Christmas!

I am wishing everyone a merry Christmas and happy festive period! Whether you're going all out with a super traditional family affair or being more casual and spending it with your alternative family of friends and acquaintances I hope you enjoy your company, a chance to unwind and of course delicious food. I also want to thank all of you that come to my blog and especially all of you who comment and follow me. I'm sending out positive vibes to all of you and hope you get exactly what you wanted under the tree.


New Years Choices from Missguided

 lace dress | velvet cut out dress | mesh dress | sequin dress

For new years I think you have one of four choices in the dress department. The first two fall into the "sexy" section. This lace dress is classically sexy, it's a flattering shape and it exposes skin in a subtle way with the lace overlay. The next choice is a velvet dress. Timeless little black dress that shows skin in a slightly different way which mimics a two piece. It also draws attention to the smallest part of the body. It's also velvet and velvet is awesome. For a more chilled vibe this mesh dress is a great outfit. The t-shirt style dress is casual, cool and paired with a leather jacket makes it rocker chic. Lastly there is sequins/sparkle option. If you want to go all out then go for a sequin dress. They are eye-catching, glitzy and they make a simple silhouette interesting.


12 books to read in 2015

In my beginnings in December post I spoke about mini habits and one of my mini habits was to read 5 pages a day every day and I have done it every day in December so far and I wanna step it up and read at least these 12 books in 2015. Reading's always been something I wanted to do but I just never felt like I had time for it. If only I could magically make the day longer so I could squeeze in some reading time. I have to make the time to read every day and that's what I'm trying to do. I split it into two sections fiction and non-fiction/spirituality/self help.


I feel super late on this bandwagon since everyone has either loved the book or loved the film in 2014 (or both). I meant to see the film, the trailer looked really good but I never got round to it. It sounds like a great premise: suspenseful story surrounding the mysterious disappearance of a wife with complex characters and suspicions lay on the husband and I hear there are twists and turns.

Dystopian & totalitarian Britain? Yes, please. This book has been on my to read list for years and hopefully I'll finally read it next year. With so many dystopian young adult books I thought I'd check out this classic before I segue into other things like the Hunger Games.

Besides Harry Potter this is literally the only book I remember reading during high school. I think I liked it but it's a classic so it's definitely worth a re-read. I think the symbolism and deeper understanding was kind of lost on me reading it at like 12 years old but I think I'll get it this time.

It's Kind of a Funny Story - Ned Vizzini
I'm reading Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel right now and this is the same vein. It's a novel about a teenager and their personal struggle with mental illness, in this case it is depression. I love the film for It's Kind of a Funny Story so I'm intrigued to see what the book is like.

It was a toss up between this and the fault in our stars but I've already seen TFIOS movie so I decided to go for this one. I believe this was John Green's first novel so why not start at the beginning? It's about a boy, he meets a girl, things happen and apparently death? 

I bought this book years ago and I started it and never finished it. Classic vampire novel in which a vampire recounts his life to a reporter. If I like it I might check out the rest of the Vampire Chronicles from Rice.


Winter Gothic Vibes


I kind of had a revelation that I am in love with goth style and honestly I have been since I was like 12. All the black, the spikes, tattoos, piercings, awesome outlandish makeup and of course the appreciation for the dark side. I'm about that life but I'm not an aficionado. I'm not an expert on the gothic music scene but that's ok. I can learn. I vaguely understand that it's started in the art world with gothic art and architecture, then progressed into literature and then in the 80s it became a subculture that developed out of punk with bands like Joy Division, The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees and Bauhaus and just exploded from there. I've always appreciate Siouxsie Sioux 's style but honestly I've never listened to the band. I will be embracing the gothic aesthetic in 2015. I was already like 70% there I just need to step my make up game but that's a whole other story.

With all these outfits I wanted to add huge spike chokers but since I'm wearing scarves every day it seemed awkward to tangle with necklaces and scarves. I feel like piercings are better jewellery than necklaces or rings but I only have my septum pierced right now... that's too low of a number. I need more facial piercings. See how I incorporated that river island jumper I spoke about in my black knitwear post? It's too perfect not to. Check out my polyvore internally if you are interesting in seeing where the specific items from and also checking out more of my style. (I sporadically post on there). If your style's anything like mine post your polyvore link in the comments, I love finding outfit inspiration on there.


Christmas Wishlist

I get more obsessed with cameras every day and I still want an entry level DSLR. To be able to finally plunge into photography and experiment with a good camera would be amazing. At £540 it is "reasonable". A lot of the fashion bloggers use them and the quality is beautiful when utilised correctly. I want those quality images, I want the bokeh, I want this camera. The bridge camera I have now is alright and even though I think it's more about the lens you use, the subject and the lighting I still want this damn camera. I will wrap my head around lighting one day. One day. I want to take the plunge and just buy it for myself.

I recently dropped my fuji instax camera and I didn't realise how broken it was until now. It doesn't release the shots once you press the shutter. *moment of silence*. I loved that camera didn't even have it a year. I guess I learned to be a lot more careful with my cameras. The only place to get a good quality polaroid is the impossible project and right now they are pretty much sold out of everything but I'll keep tabs on it. I'm just taking hit after hit when it comes to photography right now. I'm trying to stay positive about it. Just gotta ride the emotional roller coaster. What are you wishing for this Christmas?


Soundtrack to my life

And now for something a little different, I've never done a tag or spoken about music but thought I'd mix it up a little bit! This tag sounded super cool and it was created by Lily Melrose and Zoe London. Originally for youtube but I wanted to bring it my blog. 


Black Knitwear

(collage by me)

Everyone's officially pulling out their reindeer and snowflake covered jumpers and to go in a different vein I thought I'd collect some jumpers that are more me. You can never go wrong with a fisherman jumper. The simplicity of this Topshop jumper will suit days when my priorities are elsewhere and I don't want to put too much thought into an outfit. Just pull this jumper over a plaid shirt and black jeans I would be good to go. This Zara cardigan is like wearable shimmer for the body. Subtle but cool, reflective but inconspicuous. It's a beautiful combination of silver and black that combines the glitz of the season with a cool vibe that I want to exude. The big and billowy UNIF jumper hits my monochrome heart and makes me feel cosy just looking at it. I like how it was styled on Nasty Gal, they paired it with the leather trousers for a rock and roll look.  

Just wanted to add this one in as well, how genius is that jumper? If I actually like the font I would buy it in a heartbeat. The anti-christmas jumper for the grinches out there (me). Are you in the Christmas mood or are you (like me) already exhausted of hearing the songs? Except this one. Last Christmas is the best Christmas song ever, WHY? Because Christmas is the setting but not the overarching theme. George Michael getting his heart broken coincidently on Christmas and singing about the heartache of seeing her this year and reminding himself how precious his love is and to not waste it on an infatuation. This song shouldn't really still be popular because it's not really Christmas-y at all but it has the word "christmas" in it a lot and bells and snow! Bitter and upbeat I just smile whenever I hear it especially the part when he whispers "happy christmas".


Dressing up (but staying in)

jacket - topshop, shirt - asos, skirt - depop

Sometimes you just want to feel badass but really don't want to leave the house? Introvert/hermit problems anyway I bought these items a while ago and felt really good today so I decided to put them even though I'm lounging around the house watching Buffy on netflix and listening to podcasts. I feel good, I wanna look good even if I'm the only one who sees it. My opinion of myself is the most important after all. Are you "guilty" of dressing up just to stay in? If yes then *high five* because feeling good is enough of a reason to do anything. Banish the guilt!


Black & Icy

While in full out grinch mode I created this chilled out outfit. Warm sweaters are a must and I love fluffy, fleecy textures. They are fun to touch. I paired it with these patchwork looking plaid trousers and jadon boots. I've already established my love of Jadons so you'll understand why these were the boots of choice. Am I the only one who kind of wants to cry when the sunlight during the day just isn't strong enough? I just want to turn the brightness in real life here but sadly I can't. I normally look at all the glitzy, shiny christmas party gear to distract myself but it's not working this year. I could only find one skirt in the shiny/metallic/sparkly category that I liked. Maybe creating a christmas wishlist will distract me for a little.


November Collaging

Since I'm kind of in a funk blogging wise I will attempt to add more art in here. One post a week of a collage of some kind. Hopefully it will spark my motivation. The real constraint is time but I still want to blog. When I'm looking for inspiration the blog Bleaq always works. Where do you find artistic inspiration? The first one kind of mimics the layout of a scrapbook or art journal page which I love. Lana's somber music mirrors my own headspace and Carmen was always one of my favourite songs. The second was just more relaxed and I have no description for it.



I think mirrors are the perfect symbol for the mind. It's all an illusion, a reflection of the world but it can be warped by a number of things. It encapsulates you for a moment but it's not a perfect reflection. It gives a perspective but if I look at myself from one angle for too long it can become tiring and draining. I need to step back from it. I tend to ignore mirrors or glance and move along but I can't ignore my mind.

I'm doing a lot of thinking about the lack of time for creativity in my life and how that has affected my mood overall. I have a roll in my film camera that's half used, sometimes I think 36 frames is too much. 24 seems more manageable to me. I don't want to waste shots just to complete a roll since film is expensive to buy and develop but that's just part of the process to grow and learn as an artist. Gotta make mistakes. I might try out some 35mm colour film. I need to purchase more instant film as well. I recently saw a post on a beautiful mess about collage/scrapbooking and it reminded me of how much I want to start doing that. I collage digitally (rarely nowadays) but would also like to physically create little art books or scrapbooks of collages. I want as many creative outlets as possible.


Polaroids V

First shots in the magic hour! I shot these at about 6pm and it was getting a little too dark. The sun's already setting at like 3pm - 4pm. Hopefully on my next day off I can get more shots like these. I love shadows and light.


ASOS Coats

Winter in England varies.  Some days it'll just be icy cold and dry, some days it'll be foggy, rainy and all around wet and other days it might be more than 6 degrees so unseasonably warm. The news gets very dramatic when we break some record like "this was the wettest winter since records began!!" It fun to laugh at the dramatics. Anyway here are the coats that should help me through that.

Wool Coat
First a a warm wool coat is essential. I love double breasted coats. A full length wool coat would be better but I couldn't find one within my budget. I wear long johns underneath everything once October hits so a thigh length coat is totally fine for me. Notice the collar, a coat with a good collar that covers the neck is always a good bonus if you're caught without a scarf or to help add insulation to the scarf you're already wearing.

Waterproof Parka Coat
Second is a waterproof coat. Most of the cheaper ones are thin and what I like to do is size up so I can fit a few jumpers/sweaters underneath to keep the cold out. Alternatively you can double up and find a waterproof coat with inner shearling and you're covered on wet and wintery days i.e. all of English winter. Most lined coats I've seen are denim or biker jackets and they're ok but not made of that water resistant fabric like most rain coats are.

Duster Coat 
Finally a duster coat is a good transitional coat between summer and autumn. That time has passed but it also could double as a lightweight coat for nights out, it will cover you up but not be heavy to lug around if you're bar hopping.

Have you sorted out your winter coat yet?



I consider myself alternative and a lot of alternative people have docs. I never liked the 1460s, didn't like the shape and I didn't like the brown rubber sole at all then I saw these. It's like they answered my prayers. I love them, they are the combat boot of my dreams. All black, signature doc yellow stitching, flatforms, great traction of the soles. Perfect. How much? £145. What is life?


Simple Checked Blouse

top - primark

Just a quick post about this top I bought off depop. It was perfect over summer. Very breezy and light. I wore it with topshop skinny jeans and converse shoes. I really liked the way these shots came out. I used flash indoors and actually made it work. I need to experiment more with it for outfit posts. My room is ridiculously dark.


Lavish Alice

I found Lavish Alice while searching for images on my grid post and fell in love. Here are my favourite items. First there is this playsuit, I'm not usually one for floral but I really like this one, it's the dark background that grounds it for me. Next is the Wednesday Addams dress.  I loved Wednesday in the Addams Family movies so of course I would want to emulate her style. And finally this gingham crop top paired with the sheer panel skirt would make a great casual outfit for days when I'm sick of the high waisted jeans look.



Condensation - 01 Condensation - 03 Condensation - 04 Condensation - 05
View through a bus window taken on iPhone 5c. You can see more on my flickr

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